So, it is Thursday and I have little to show for what has passed already in the week. That means it is time to get my butt in gear. But, I figured I would check in before getting down to work on school tonight. And, I have either got to get this sleeping issue under control or embrace it somehow. Just not sure how to do that. Best I can figure it is to work as best as I can with my providers on appointments and sleep the best I can when I have appointments and let myself be a night owl when it is what my body wants to do.
I know I said check in but it is more like dump my frustration off here so I can actually function in this case. This bedbug treatment has me overwhelmed and I just have to somehow break it down into smaller parts and get rid of some stuff. And it’s not the getting rid of stuff that is the problem. It’s just the where to begin. Probably the left top corner of the closet and go from there would be the best bet. And, it will be noisy so have to do it during the day. Just going to have to start tomorrow morning with changing my appearance. Meaning from bearded man to clean shaven freshly showered man. So, that instead of looking like a hermit, I look more like a productive member of society.
I’m giving myself four more hours to be up from 3 AM, and then going to bed and getting up at 11 AM. I know only 5 hours of sleep, but with my sleep machine that is wonderful sleep. Then I am going to divide up the day between cleaning and school work among other things. Other than decluttering closets and stuff like that the house is pretty much clean though. Granted we got a bit behind on taking out the trash. But, overall the house itself is clean. Just needs the spring cleaning overhaul of getting rid of a few things. It’s a pain is all. I just need to sit back and take a deep breath and start doing this like I know how to. I have to stop letting the anxiety get in the way.
For me, that is what works, for others they have different methods. For me I am just going to crank up the TV and if it is a warm day open the windows and get to work. I say crank up the TV because it has better speakers than my computer does. I’m not sure how I am going to break up the time frames yet still trying to work that out in my head. After all, I don’t want to go too much on one and not enough on the other. I want to try and be balanced working on this and at the same time not be getting burnt out on either one if I can avoid it. As well as not too sore in the process. But, it does give me a good chance to start preparing for the future, when I move to a smaller place.
I’m also going to keep working on trying to be a better friend. Lately, I have felt like staying inside more, but I am trying to push the button that says go out. And, while I am pretty sure I am an ambivert, I tend to lean towards being an introvert most of the time. But, I get spurts of wanting to go out on an impulse. Just hard to make those impulses work with other people. Mainly cause most other people like to plan things out and my impulsiveness is hard to work with at times. I make some plans here and there. But, it is hard to make many because it is hard for me to keep them guaranteed. And, I don’t like being unreliable so I have to work on changing that.
But, right now I am going to focus on cleaning and school combined with Odyssey. As well as keeping in contact with friends to start with while I get housing taken care of. And, where my impulses can cross paths with friends so be it. I’ve been trying to do too many things at once and spreading myself too thin on what I need to be working on. So, I have to start back at the beginning for now. It doesn’t mean I am not going to get fresh air, it just means I need to redo a few steps to get to where I want to be. And, I am sorry I am not where some people were hoping I would be by now, but I made mistakes along the way and now I have to redo some things to become what I want to become. It’s going to take some work, but I can get there. And, as many will tell you that know me I don’t like taking steps backward. But, in this case, I am seeing the wisdom in doing so.
I have rambled enough for one night and I want to get some reading in as well before bed. Feel free to leave questions and comments below as always. I will try to carve out some time to check in as I am doing this but no guarantees. I am going to go work out tomorrow’s schedule and then either read more on the state of higher education today or The Cuckoo’s Calling. Not sure which yet. *Tips his hat and walks out the door*.